I work in a mall, and across from my shop is a food counter, where this girl named _______ works. She is a spunky, happy-go-lucky girl. Hell, everyone at 22 should be. She balances out my pessimism for the most part, bringing me little treats and yapping on about every little thing. It's a good break from the rest of the world, and i enjoy this time.
Recently, a very good male friend of mine came by to keep me company and play me some chess. Not my perfered choice of entertainment, but you can't share a gameboy better two people easily. Anyway, said girl comes over and talks to us, and in turn, my friend whispers after she is gone: " She's really cute."
I agree and prompty take his queen.
Later on, we are heading to my bus and my friend mentions that he would like to see her again. She is like me, 6 days a week, hard to miss her. A bonus to him, she needs her computer fixed and he has the same day off as her this week. So, I am employed to be the in between. To be honest, if I hadn't have suggested it to him, he might have not done anything. Sure enough, I talk to the girl and we chat about him and she is all green, go!
I've set up a few of my friends in the past. About 30 couples in total. Hell, I am a straight man's dream: I'm normal acting, and I ahve a lot of cute friends that are single and girls. Apparently that makes me a valued asset in the friend's category. I guess it's awesome when I am able to introduce two people and they hit it off. Still, a part of me is jealous.
Why is it so hard for me to find someone? I know, I know....there are a plethora of reasons that I am single. Could be the almost non-stop sarcasm, the geekiness, the fact that I am a big guy...the list, I'm sure, will go on and on. That doesn't prevent me for feeling a little sad as the couples form. At one time, all my friends were in relationships. Going to hang out, it was like I was the third, fifth, wahtever odd number you want to add. I started to avoid these social situations because it made me uncomfortable. No one really likes to be pointed out, and the people in the relationships, my friends, didn't seem to understand what I might have been feeling.
So, about 4 months ago, I gave up. Maybe not a good move, but one nothertheless. I didn't like this feeling of being different, since I am already different enough. Countless times I bashed my head against the wall, trying to get these thoughts out of my head until I gave up. Now, after a period of friends breaking up, they are all starting to find partners again, and I find my self in the same emotional loop.
Maybe it's just me.
Just a mini-rant....