Ramblings, just ramblings
Why this feels like High School
Published on July 30, 2004 By Amitty In Life Journals
I have been posting to Joeuser for only just over a week. I read a lot of the articles, and liked what I read. It also seems like a lot of the posters here have been here for awhile and knew each other. I liked the fact that it seemed like a cool little community. Also, the point system for articles is cool, refreshing idea. There is also the fact that I can post things that I am interested about and get feedback. I am trying to get a novel published, and this also gives me a good chance to write when i am not actually working on a book.

Then, the seams started to unravel. Maybe I joined at a bad time. There started to be controversies between people, and feelings and such were hurt. I pieced some of them together, some were told to me. It started with the Ashlee thing for me, and since then, the Sir Peter Saga.
What is next?

The point is, why is there so much feeling and emotion directed at these people? I realize that it is hurtful to get things thrown back at you, and that there are people that are out there that might not like you and the subjects you tend to write about. maybe they won't like you for something silly as being gay, or Black, or a woman. Maybe your article writing is bland to them. The list goes on. Hate towards other people is so draining, and that is part of where the problem lies.

Allow me to alude to my point. I have spent a considerable amount of my time holding grudges. I am a firm believer, or was, of never backing down. Nevermind that the other person might disagree, or that you might be wrong. It was survival of the fittest. As I grew older, I realized that holding on to things was just as time consuming as concentrating on work, only there was negative benefit.
I have a best friend, and his girlfriend broke up with him recently. They had a three year relationship, and she decided that she was better off with another guy. Actually, in my opinion, which later was fact, she jsut wanted to have sex with him, since she was interested in his friend, which is dating her best friend. Convoluted, huh?

Anyway, as any good friend, especially to someone that has become a person and friend I can rely on, I held my loyalty with him. I was angry for him, even when he wasn't angry. When I become good friends, I would stake my life for that loyalty. Anyway, she and he decided, in the interest in staying friends, they wouldn't see anyone for 4 months. That is a long ass time. Regardless, she broke that 4 month thing within a week.
Regardless of what happened, she was dangerous. People that don't have any guilt, or idea that they are doing wrong _ Due to how they were brought up, their own intelligence level, whatever - are normally dangerous. The fact that she started dating a guy she didn't like after ending a three year relationship, so that she could be close to his best friend, is wrong. And what is worse, she guilted me and my friends into trying to take sides.
Plus, after she broke their 4 month thing, she had the nerve to call up my friend and yell at him for being interested in someone else, not even realizing that she might have, oh, I don't know, forced him to seek others after her betrayal.

So, I was mad. Hell, this wasn't even done to me. Then, I realized that she is going to have to learn what she is doing to people on her own. I can't tell her it's wrong if she doesn't understand. Just as anymore as I can tell a donkey to sing opera. See, she had been given everything to her, and bullied her way through her friends, and that made it acceptable for her to do it, because no matter what people said to her, she didn't understand. Why, she had always gotten what she wants, why should now be any different?
So, promoting anger from others, directed at your cause, will do nothing. Trying to go upon a personal crusade because your angry will not solve anything. People reading this article will probably, immediately put me on one side or the other., when all I'm trying to do is promote tolerance.
There are some great people here, from what I have read. Smart, witty, good people. It would be a shame to see this community destroyed. And, Bakerstreet is right...promoting this kind of hate brings on a witch hunt that will ultimately do you no good.

Comments
on Jul 30, 2004
lol, thank you Little Whip, I'll keep that in mind.
on Jul 30, 2004
Then too, some people naturally take conflicts more seriously than others. Little whip is, I think, a prime example of someone who thinks very little of engaging in a "flame fest"; as she says, she's laughing while making sure she gives back harder than she gets. Also, her natural writing style simply appears more confrontational. Others prefer to maintain a higher level of civility and become rather alarmed and/or disturbed when a new round of insults breaks out.

I think you just need to get a handle on how the various users interact in general, and take into account that certain people are merely being their normal selves when they say things that you personally would be uncomfortable with.
on Jul 31, 2004
I actually take no offense to anything said here..for me, it's a detached world from the real one. This article wasn't for me to be like " Oh, I'm all frightened", it was just a " My point of View" article. There is a saying amoung me and my friends: " There is No Such Thing As T.M.I", and that is the view I have of life. I already have been told things that would bother me, but I truely believe that people have a right to say what they wish. It's a opinion. Once again, as I have said 4 times now: " IF you write in open forums or blogs, prepare for the good and the bad."

Personally, reading LW stuff, I don't see confrontational at all, but then again, I'm not looking for that in anyone's writing. I'm not here to hold a burning flag or war, or to start a personal crusade. I'm here to write stuff, and read intelligent people. "Nuff said."
on Jul 31, 2004
And, Bakerstreet is right...promoting this kind of hate brings on a witch hunt that will ultimately do you no good.

Isn't it funny how people see things. For me BakerStreet often makes his points by belittling and browbeating people...don't worry, I have said this to his virtual face.