Ramblings, just ramblings
*sigh*
Published on August 24, 2004 By Amitty In Life Journals
I generally don't talk about my personal life online much. From experiences here and other places, usually anything mildly homosexual tends to gain a lot of negative press.
Unfortunately, I am gay and this is sort of a gay subject.

So, for all of you that want to read on, but don't like the gay taint to life, pretend i am talking about a girl. I will even purposely be abiguious.

There is this person that I beleived that I liked a lot in the past. For two years I was infatuated to no end. There was a lot of non-commital on their part, and things finally came to head on my 21st birthday. I finally, with no room for error, told the other person how I felt and they were finally forced to say that they weren't ready. Fair enough. The person in question had been in one relationship and it ended tragically. It is hard to find someone that has a lot in common, especially when you are in my situation. I am not exactly a club going trend setter. I am a gamer and a geek.

Regardless, for the next two years we got close, something emotional happened, and we stopped talking. It was a very amusing cycle. We would talk for hours, then something would be said and then we were at odds again. Partly, I suppose, part of it was all my fault. I would get sucked back into the person and my emotions would go haywire.

A good friend of mine would say that the person was stringing me along, since they knew I would always feel something for the other person. Maybe that was right. We went seven months without talking and I got into another relationship that sucked ass.
Now, tonight, as I write this, they are asking me advice about asking someone out.

I'm not sure how I feel about that.
anger, I think, though thereis no where to direct it but at myslef for not being good enough.
Saddness, knowing that this great person that I am in sync with will never like me back.
Depressed, since this brings back almost three years of doubt and bad feelings.

Why do I always have to be in the advice game? What makes it thatI can give better advice than someone else? Is it because people just assume that since I am single that I know somethings that they don't? " Look at that miserable guy, he must hold the answer to life."
Is that how it is?
I don't know, only i know that I am extremely sad now...

Comments
on Aug 24, 2004
You know what Ammity - I dont have the answers... I just got your comment on my blog though, and I came over to share some love... and I find this article here, reaching out...

People seem to ask for advice when they already know the answers.... maybe there is somthing about you that typifies wisdom... maybe it's all those Jedi games that are out? I sense the force in you... it is strong...

That wasa whole lot of nothing, I guess I am just saying Hola... and I have a feeling everything will be alright in the end, because you are a good person. Nice guys may finish last, but mother fuckers dont finish at all.

BAM!!!
on Aug 24, 2004
Well, at the end of the day you can't *force* someone to love you. I guess the only thing you can do is move on. And don't worry about not being a trend setter and being a gamer and a geek - I am, and I still found lurve
on Aug 24, 2004
The person you like is just another person, they are not a God, they are flawed, just like every other idiot you have ever foolishly fallen for in the past.
I say rejoice in the fact that other people come to you for advice. There is nothing better than a friendship. After all, what is a relationship but a glorified chat with sex. You are wise because you aren't caught up in all that shit. You are a bit more of disinterested party. If the other person doesn't want to have sex with you or whatever, how much does that really matter? Are you really going to let that soak up the entirety of your existence and thoughts? You are a good person with friends who are interesting and these intersting people find you interesting. So enjoy chatting with them. THAT is what should take up your time energy and thoughts.
on Aug 24, 2004
its time for him to get out of you life...you are always going to be in this runt until you totally nix him, accept it sucks and move on..there is someone else out there for you and you are hindering them by staying in this.

I know you have the connection and you feel close but its always gonna hurt you and make you doubt yourself ...keeping him in your life...

"I finally, with no room for error..."
see you know what you want..now go get it.
on Aug 26, 2004
thank you all for your comments, especially muggaz. It was sort of a moment of weakness thing, writing it, but I am glad that people out there are supportive.
on Aug 27, 2004
*hugs* men can be so cruel... stick it to em and go out with a girl lol For some reason some people like what they can't have. I have considered becoming a nun because I am unable to get it right with picking a straight man. I seem attracted to the gay or taken men. (see several ramblings in my blog for more details, also a lovely story about my uterus )

I think I might have commented too late, but I do that often. I find when people who know you like them, but don't like you and ask you for advice on how to approach another person, could be motivated by the goal, of "helping" you get over them. It sucks and hurts. *hugs* You never know one day it might happen or the feelings might go away. Whatever happens you will be alive and stronger because of the experience *end "typical" answer here* But I do think there is truth in that statement.

Ooo I have it, we can go "men-hunting" together, you can let me in on who is gay so I can avoid even thinking I have a chance, and I can... buy you a milkshake? I know, I'll bring a camera phone for memories... hee hee
on Aug 29, 2004
Amitty,
If you really like this person then relax .....................................take in a deep breath...................let it our slowly...............be his friend.....let go of your need to have him as a partner and enjoy his company as a person....We often can be absorbed by our emotions and feel the need to be absolute with another and when this is an impossibility we give up all together or dwell on it forever while life passes us by. Enjoy having this person in your life....and once you let go of your want of the unattainable you can continue your friendship minus the uncomfortable silences.

anger, I think, though there is no where to direct it but at myslef for not being good enough.
Saddness, knowing that this great person that I am in sync with will never like me back.


Don't be angry, Amitty, and don't feel that you are not good enough....we are all attracted to different things and people and he is attracted to you in a sense otherwise he would not be there as your friend. Let go of your need to have him and enjoy having him as a friend....your relationship will be longer lasting through the years that way anyway as relationships can always be turbulent.

There's more to life than lovers.
on Aug 29, 2004
Keo: never too late
Crusaders, thank you