My social experiment of sorts is over. I packed my bags and headed back home after living in a small town. I was greeted by a warm reception, but I felt like a failure. After all, I had left to start a new life, and found that where I moved, there was no life at all. I had frantically stayed in my room when not looking for work, going slowly crazy and getting stupidier. I know that doesn't sound possible to all you long time readers, but it was true.
I am not a small town boy.
I knew that one of the reasons I left home to persue other things was simply because I needed to. I was unhappy, and I needed to find something else to look forward too. Only after a month away, I realized that I didn't need to leave my home yet, but needed to put everything back into perspective.
So, after almost two months, and with the help of my friends, I came back home. I changed, and I think for the better. I am causiously persuing a new relationship with a guy I met, and allowing myself to be at ease around him. Often I get a little worried that I am saying the wrong things, or acting like a idiot, but that is good. Those moments are getting fewer and fewer.
I've reconnected with the life I had when I left, and found that I took a lot for granted. But that is all good now, I've learned. While I'll say that my time in small town hell was horrible, I will say that it might have been the best time of growth in my life.